Just coming from a rest day, it has been 'fun'. I went nowhere, instead stayed at home. I slept at night, and slept at ciesta time. By the time I was drafting my blog entry, I took a bath since I didn't take a bath for the two days I did not go out. I feel refreshed.
* * *
It was not just the bath and two rest days which made me feel fresh and better, but rather the 30-minute discussion with God and meditation. It was very insightful, that Friday afternoon.
* * *
It started with a reading of John Maxwell's Leadership devotional book. The entry was about Christian leadership and the critical questions they face, whther they like to or not:
What is your dream?
What drives you?
What makes you happy?
* * *
About a week ago, an opening for a supervisor position came up. I was one of the first in our team to learn of it (Even the Team Manager has only sent the message the day after I read it.). I thought I'd like to give it a try.
Of course, before I decided, I considered some things. What team is the supervisor position for? Can I handle the responsibility? Do I fulfill the requirements? Of the questions answerable by "Yes" or "No," it was yes.
I was geared and disturbed at the same time about this situation. I wanted to apply if this is not the same team I am currently working as a tier 1 agent, but I thought of my reason if I were to apply for that job.
* * *
Day before I read the opening, I prayed to God that may He provide me some form of motivation tgo stay in the company. The stress level due to the work itself as well as the demand of our supervisor, plus my own standard of performance, are pushing me to the edge. I have given myself just two distinct deadlines for staying (paying my credit to a co-worker, and getting the bonus), and even those I am not sure. I want to leave this work and get to an easier one.
* * *
On my way home, I thought, however, when I was in college, I wanted a job that is challenging. Is the absence of motivation a challenge in itself? That moment, low on morale, I decided it was not worth a motivation or challenge. Goal and situation don't equate with the prize.
Not even learning and development were good enought. I was all that bad and demotivated. I do not even see myself improving. The highlight of my experience in my transfer were being barged and given realtime instructions to transfer the call to senior agents. I don't know how they could thing it is positively reinforcing agent performance. This team is working on the numbers, not the people. Ironically, that's what the company's name is all about.
That's how and why I thought of the idea of applying for the supervisor position.
A position where I could have an easier job and pursue my dream of being a teacher, because of relaxed standards, which would allow me to get a master's course next incoming school year.
I even thought I could do godly deeds being a teacher, but no. My mind was simply reacting to stress and environment, not properly and prudently responding.
* * *
The questions I read in the leadership devotional put everything back to its proper perspective.
The motivation for leadership is service, not self-centered goals.
The motivation for living is God's purpose. You're important, but you really rely on God.
Everything will come at its proper time, and God will make you ready first.
God will use you. Do not use God.
Faith in God is a life, not just a part of your day, not even just a way of life. Live your life in that life you decided to live.
* * *
After this, I sent a messagte to my baby sister. I have to get back on track of my roles in people's lives.
* * *
Trying to sleep, I thought, what type of person should I pursue for a girl friend? From common experience, model type, or friend? I do not know. I ddecided finally, I'll let God handle that. That's not one of my expertiese.
No comments:
Post a Comment