Re-learning to Write and Weakness as a Motivation to Improve

My application to this government agency concerned with national security, which included a one-on-one interview and a writing test, revealed how bad my communication skills were. I am writing here to publicly acknowledge that weakness, which I commit myself to improve at the soonest possible time.

Aside from telling the public (i.e., the limited number of people who read my blog) about my experience, I also got to experience what I preach: Going through an application process to assess yourself.

Many times, when we get performance reviews, we get very satisfactory ratings. Sometimes, the rating is correct, sometimes, the rating is there to allow you to stay. Or sometimes, the rating has no basis.

I am not a fan of external validation, but I do appreciate feedback, which you can only get from being externally connected. And that writing test (the result of which was not given to me) made me realize how bad my writing skills have become over the months I have been out of Policy.

The result was an expected pain. That day, I knew I was not prepared. However, the results of the writing surprised me so much. Again, there was no score, but it did make me realize how bad it is.

Again, no one told me my writing or interview skills were bad, but the opportunity made me realize it.

And I have to be honest with myself.

As painful as it is, I have to accept the truth that I am not ready to go back to technical communication roles.

I simply hope that my friends at Policy that old skills forgotten can be easily re-learned is true.

I have got some word to do.

Of course, I am not writing this just to share my experience of learning. I want to say, in brief, that that experience of realizing for one's self your weakness is a liberating experience, that an organization should also try.

If we do not admit our weakness (i.e., objectively telling ourselves that we failed in some areas), then we won't be urged to make drastic actions to rectify them.

If we continue to make "success" and "failure" subjective, we will always have success that is not something we can really be proud of.

If we continue to accommodate perspectives into performance and consider economy of the individual for making decisions performance issues, then don't expect improvement.

(Actually, you can see improvement if that is what you want to see... just don't expect respect for your measuring system.)

Ignorance is bliss. What you don't know won't hurt you... for now.

I've got to write more.