A Plan for Revolution

More than 3 years ago, I was with my brod Jerome coming home from a class gimmick. We were in Bulacan, and it was night. I was looking on the road not knowing what would happen.

Suddenly, an old man (seemed to be drunk, but definitely old) was hit on his bike's bars and he dropped - in God's grace, he did not get hit again - in the middle of the road. It seems that the truck hit him and did not bother to stop.

I did not see it. But Jerome, who was driving, did.

Jerome pursued the truck, and signalled for the driver to stop. Without incident, the driver halted the vehicle, and another person, we learned, was following the truck. Jerome explained to the driver that they hit a person and that they did not stop. I sensed the moment Jerome stepped out of the car that he was ready to go to a fight if the driver and his co-worker denied the incident. I was just behind him, ready to back him up but not to start any fight.

The other person who was following "us" turned out to be the city's previous mayor. I don't remember his name, but he introduced himself as such. We decided it would be helpful if the two guys would turn themselves in the police precinct to file a report of the incident.

When we continued to go home (after going back to the place to try to find the old biker, unsuccessfully), I told Jerome that I did not expect that from him, nor did I think that I would rather do that. It was admirable. Jerome said it was nothing. Anyone that witnessed that could have done that, he said. I don't think I would, though.

* * *

When I was on my way to work, heard of two adult men talking about EDSA "revolution." I don't know actually what they were talking, but I just thought that they could have been comparing EDSA 1 and 2. I didn't have confidence in either. The change was personal and not for the nation. The nation's pinning of hope on the people that assumed position were futile. Now, somebody wants to change the change that happened.

To those who think of revolution as the sort of the things soldiers do now is stupid - it's never going to be effective - effective meaning that there would be genuine change. A revolution is not just done to express unsatisfaction, rather it is to change the system and behavior of the nation. No EDSA ever did that.

A better format or plan for revolution could be gotten out of our own history - the first revolution of the Filipino people - led by Andres Bonifacio. Not the EDSAs, but in in Tagalog.

Andres Bonifacio, perceived as an empathic man of the poor, conceived a perfect revolution, perhaps taking note of the failures and successes of the revolutions he has read about - like the French Revolution. He conceived of a constitution (of sorts), a government, a process of change, objectives, and national unity. While alternative history points out that he was not leading a national revolution but just a local revolution, it is a model of a revolution in itself. He did not think of Intramuros alone, but a lot of provinces then.

* * *

Use of the media should be appropriate. The current attitude of the media would not guarantee the unity of the nation - it would rather guarantee a divided country and politics-based government. Instead, they should be used into their true purpose: public announcement. In a nation torn by uncertainty, the leaders of a revolution should provide the exact words, and control the media so that they don't make any stupid implications or interpretations of behavior or report on trivial, unimportant events just to focus out of things which they feel are not in their interest (which is what is happening right now). Their role of being the Fourth Estate would be returned after the new government

* * *

Soldiers should not - note, NEVER - be involved. The repeated inclusion of the military in a revolution weakens any new government. The government should use the military, not depend on it. The military is nothing but an arm - an arm, which is important, but an arm still. It does not have the heart nor the mind for the whole of the country.

Further, the inclusion of the military in a political exercise will make the future military organization political, which is something no military should ever be. The military would not attack the people's revolution if it is a national uprising. Thus, this would really reflect the role of both sides - the people and the military. The people should lead, not rely on the government, in nationbuilding. The military would only reflect the nation's interest - after all government agencies have failed. This condition is easy if all people are united in launching a revolution. When this happens, real change would be expected, a long-term one.

A political military weakens the nation as a whole. The military becomes involved easily in a power vacuum. The political leadership uses the military for personal purposes. It is a continuously circling down of deterioration.

* * *

In case there is a fear of the government's commanding of attacking the people, this will not happen. We are already in a global community. The media, while stupid, would look on any military attack on the people as an attack on its own interest. An attack of the military is worse than martial rule - it is military dictatorship - an environment that cannot be tolerated by the "freedom of expression" loving media.

* * *

Andres Bonifacio modeled the correct development of a revolution. A lot of people pronounce their plan to a lot of stupid and loud-mouthed people. Bonifacio used the Triangle method. One person recruited only two other people, who each in turn recruited another two. Thus, no person knows other people until they had a mass formation, which is rather very close to the time of mass uprising.

* * *

Today's Philippines execute the revolution in two critical players: the military and the media. Unless the leaders of a revolution understand the role of these two in a national revolution, there are only two consequences of a revolution - change of personality with a deterioriating nation, or anarchy. While Andres Bonifacio did not have the benefit of hindsight then (how in...?), he did have the proper understanding of these things. Sure, the situation is different, with a more popular media and more centralized military. But their roles do not change in a nation undergoing a critical process such as a cultural and political revolution. The people's will has to be identified and solidified, supported by these institutions on the background but not being led by them.

Wedding

I was watching a Koreanovela this morning, and I watched the lead man, Ryu something. The guy's character is a poor guy working a lot to achieve his dream or give something back to his mother (I don't really know). He got into a blind date with a girl who comes from a rich background. He has work and does well. The girl knows few of the concerns of poor people, but she is not entirely evil. She just doesn't know, and her encounter with this guy opened a new world for her.

And also for the guy. He did not like the girl - or something like that. He is living on an unknown past - he loves someone that did not return his love and is engaged to someone in Japan (the setting is, of course, in Korea). In their few initial dates, she gives her gifts which are so opposite his usual traditional preferences - like a man magazine (I don't know the correct term.). When they were no longer seeing (so far), he saw the magazine and learns there is some use to that piece of paper.

Seeing his character ignore the presence and the emphasized impact on his life makes me angry at him. I mean, here is a person whom you have felt has definitely made an impact on you, but you ignore her communication. You know she likes you, but you neglect her just because you long for someone you never know will come back and you know is engaged to someone else. You see how her personality complements your own (One of her weird talks gave him an idea on how to approach a person in official business.), but you don't acknowledge her. You act like a prick. The girl is even very beautiful.

That's when I remembered how I acted. I acted like that. Of course, at first, I thought, I didn't want to compare myself with him because his character is richer (considering that he's supposed to be poor), and he has a job that he likes. And the girl is beautiful. When I got back to the point of the issue, I was hit straight in the head - I ignored someone that was coming to me. Why? I don't know - that's probably a difference, but it did not matter. The point is that you are ignoring something for something you do not know.

I remember my article about the Category 3 A$$hole. I tried to put myself in his situation - concentrating on my work and goals, with a responsibility to the family. Coming from a poor background, meets a girl with happy-go-lucky attitude. Is it so hard? Who's at fault?

* * *

Doing some cramming in the office for my graduate studies education, I see people looking at my papers with great interest. I mean, I understand that taking a master is a great feat, but anyone can try! Well, that's what I thought.

I remember the process of deciding if I were to start on June. I looked on the factors. Then, I read in my daily devotional for leaders (by John Maxwell), and the passage for today is about commitment. You would like to make sure of resources, but everything follows if you commitment.

Anyways, I am sort of confused with the way things are happening. The people that look up to me due to taking master degree are the people that I look up to for mastery in doing their job. Well, I guess it just says that I have my interest in learning, while they already have their skills in doing their job. Nonetheless, I still admire them.

It helps my self-appreciation considering that I am in a stage when I doubt if I would want to have my own family or live a single life. I read lots of books about leading a family in a Christian environment, only to decide that I want to be single. So far, all directions point towards that direction.

What will be the purpose for all the achievements? I learned a lot of things. God gave me a lot of gifts - life, character, attitude, friends - what is the sum purpose?

I am confused... of my future, not my sexuality. Heheheh.

Conflicts and Plans

It's more than a week since that Fort Bonifacio-Marine stand-off. Well, I've been off the blog for a long time. I don't like hearing the "noise" called "news."

I learned that Cory was going to Fort Bonifacio at that same time to "pray." What in...?! Why do you need to go to Fort Bonifacio to pray!? You proclaim that you are for the people, when you proclaim your insult to the people!

* * *

Compare how many deaths in the coups that happened in GMA's and Cory's presidencies.

* * *

I used to think that there is a need for a peaceful transition - to be proud this so-called People Power (even though I don't believe in that process before). Now, however, there is indeed a need for a full and complete (I don't know of the bloody) revolution. Only a revolution would make the the change complete and real - not just a change of personalities.

Mao Tse Tung (I didn't think I would like to use his example of revolution, but I am compelled to) designed the perfect revolution. It's just that his personal attitude affected severely the nation's culture. In the country, Marcos' New Democracy never came to reality, but I think it was the Maoist Revolution without the corruption of personal attitude problems.

* * *

Thinking of my 2008 plans, and programming my budget for the next two years, makes me a bit hesitant of the graduate school. I plan to take a Master of Management, and my original plan (conceived in Summer 2004), conceived of concluding my master's in 2008. It's March 2006. Just two years.

In order to accomplish that objective, I have to stay in the company (I think), save and avoid gimmicks. I have to save every pay the amount:

1,000 PhP for thesis

1,100 PhP for the semestral tuition

1,000 PhP for personal school maintenance (something unexpected)

500 PhP for maintenance

That is for the salary of ... well. Let's leave it at that.

I plan to enrol in the 3 core subjects for the first semester (If I were able to take this last year, I planned to have only 2 core subjects to test if I could carry more.). That would continue until the thesis semester, when I plan to have less load - like the thesis only.

What's going to happen in my life?

Wow, good-bye love life! Heheheheh!

When I die

I feel tired. This job is definitely taxing. It's sucking the energy out of me. Worse, getting sleep is a hard time.

I have actually already come to the way of thinking that if you feel tired after waking up, you have rested.

* * *

When the past is too much, enjoy the present. If the present is hard, look forward.

* * *

When I die, what would you feel?

I've been thinking of what people would think or feel when I die.

Have I made an impact on their lives? Have I been important? Have I helped them? Have I served my purpose in their lives?

Would they cry, thinking that they felt love for me but never expressed it?

Or would they smile, knowing that we've had our best times as much as we could?

On my end, I try to relate to people in such a way that for the people I love, I told them or made them feel that I loved them, so that when they die, I won't be sad or disappointed knowing that I wasted time - spent time with them without telling how valuable they are for me.

I miss people, I must confess. But that's it. I also tell that to people. I want them to feel that there is somebody that is brave enough to tell them they are being loved and appreciated.

Are you ready to die?

Honestly, I am... not yet. For another reason, though.

* * *

Watching Close to you gave me another understanding of relationships.

The What if syndrome.

I remember a similar situation on my experience. No, we did not happen to have that argumentation like the one Lloyd and Bea had in his car. Just a moment of realization on my end.

It's not just being afraid or selfish... there is more.

* * *

I have been thinking or imagining of a scenario when I give a special lady friend I have a gift for her birthday. I don't know what to give her, actually, just thinking of what I appreciate about her in that moment. I plan to give her a surprise...

Well, that's not the idea of the writing here. I just remember her giving me a kiss. For some stupid (for me) reason, that prompted me not to fall in love with her. For me, I feel like that act gave me a trust that was beyond anything I've had from a friend (lady, that is. My brods, of course, trust me with their lives, just like I do with them.). I feel like getting a hug is the act that would tell me that a person gave me unconditional love (whether romantic or platonic). That is, a kiss symbolizes trust, a hug (or an embrace) symbolizes love.

I don't know why. I'm feeling empathic these days, I guess.

* * *

Hmmm. I broke two relationships, and did I get anything? Immediately, I felt that I have failed - either myself or the other party. Or maybe both. But today - not really thinking about it, though - I thought that those experiences (failures) taught me a thing or two... either about relating, about myself, or my priorities. I learned that my there is a part of me that I never knew until I entered into a relationship. For those two very short relationships, new parts of myself reveal themselves to me. With the first, it was that I have been "clingy" (as my ex puts it). With the second, I have been an a$$hole (according to myself). In both cases, I learned that you learn something of yourself that comes out only when you are combined with another person in a unique way. There is another third relationship, but it actually happened before the two formal relationships - perhaps it was the most hurtful and most impacting. But it is past - I think.

I have been the perfect psychologist/behaviorist or relationship adviser, but I f*ck up when I deal with my own concerns. I didn't know I would end up this way. I thought I had everything planned and thought out. I don't like this.

My two younger brothers both have their girl friends. I don't have them. And my parents don't know that I had a relationship (like my recognition day in the Fraternity). I don't plan of letting them know. It is either I haven't found the person that I think I would be proud to introduce to them or there was no chance.

That's all for now...

Category 3 A$$shole

Long time. Miss posting here. Anyway, guess there are a lot of things to write about. Work. Friends. Love. Life.
Let's start with a lecture.
Categories of a$$holes.
Category 1 - These are the serious players. They play with people's feelings like they play with a ball for leisure - not even for a purpose. They don't know and don't even bother to know if they hurt people with what they do. I've seen some of these - not just in relating with people but with managing as well. Managing is not primarily about resources, but primarily about managing human resources, or people.
Category 2 - These are the people who know they hurt, but they don't care. It's like they take pleasure in pissing everyobody off.
Category 3 - This is where I think I belong. They know they hurt people, but they do it for a purpose. Of course, they don't compromise on another aspect of their life. In a movie, these are the characters that you see like they are justified, but it is just that they don't know how to communicate effectively. Like, "Why can't you just tell them what happened?" You really can't blame them, but they break the relationship. So they are a$$holes.
Like me.
* * *
Work has been easier. It's just difficult being called "Randy" instead of a christened name or a self-appointed nickname. Worse, that name is the name of the person of the creep who did not approve my... whatever. I'm just being bitter, I think.
* * *
It's been an awesome time with my two lady friends. They have been good listeners and "interrogators". I miss them. I don't want them to know, but I simply do miss them. Really, I don't want to meet them, sometimes, because, like I told them (or one of them, I think), when I meet them and have a time with them, I realize and feel how much I miss them and their value is made more tangible - by the feeling.
The value of the "date" is even enhanced when my mind drifts while I try to sleep (just before I type this article) - that they make me feel at ease and I really take a rest. I am not pretending to be anything like I do at work or with a person that I'm supposed to be knowing and letting myself known. With them, I am happy that I make funny faces, they laugh with genuine appreciation, and love that I know are complete. What friends I have.
* * *
I am again torn between adulthood and youth. I didn't know how to think of people, particularly people of the opposite sex. It's like this: when I see a girl, she's either too young or too mature. I don't know what's the type that I would like.
I see a path that is easier but I'm not sure if I would like to trek that one yet: Single. It's sort of easier: hard when it comes to romance, easier when going through the long dull predictable path of life that I tend to become attached to. Surprises are small parts that I don't appreciate yet when they come as normal. Surprises when they are not appreciated are unexpected contingencies or crises.