Decision

It's been a long day yesterday. I woke up 5 in the morning, to give the stool sample for the annual physical exam, then supposedly to have breakfast with someone. My co-worker did not go to work the night before, so I just stayed until about 10 in the morning.My friend Pao invited me to watch a movie, but then cancelled for a reason I would never and not interested to know.

At the start of the day, I decided to have my objective that at the end of the day, I must have a final decision on whether I would like to go for the master of business management program, or not. Perhaps the perceived time made it longer.

* * *

The reasons for taking the master's program by June are strong. I have the desire and the enthusiasm today. Also, I think I still have more knowledge today than what I would have in the future, about a year later. Time is also not on my side - better take it now and get the results later. It cannot work that I have a promotion now and have the master's later. Also, I need to do this as soon as possible if I want to be a professor.

A long-term point of taking the master's is that it would eventually strengthen my character and personal skills. This is going to be a tough road if I take it this term. I have to enrol this summer pre-requisuite subjects so that I could minimize subjects that I have to take by Graduate School proper. Summer class is taxing - 2 hours per day, everyday. Taking the master's would put out my social life immediately. And I have some personal tasks - tasks I have committed myself to for other people.

And the Character point is supposed to be an encouragement for me. But a challenge is something that I enjoy and I am for some reason drawn to it.

* * *

The points of not taking the program this June are certainly entertaining. Time is not on my side, a point I have mentioned earlier, works also against doing the program. I am wondering if taking the program as a challenge would rather be a nuisance instead of a challenge. Can I really do it? I am not certain of the things. I have a very predictable schedule, but I do not know what my graduate schedule would be like.

Finance would also strangle me - I want t get a PDA for my master's, but my finances are not adequate. I have planned the monthly expenses, I wonder if there is something that I could do. The finance capaability is partly cause of the weakened social activity - I don't have a great social life, and this would even nullify the existing one. I would have little maneuver room for my finance.

This would also put me to a 2 to 3-year committment. For a 9-unit semester, with another subject to be added, it is 2 years. Can I really commit myself to such a plan? (I have actually tried to relate this to a relationship - I don't know the answer, but I would know with this plan.)

Another drawback of doing it this semester is the lack of pre-requisite subjects. For some reason, I forgot to take some subjects I could and should have taken the semester before, like Econoimics 11 and Accounting 1. My lack of planning and waste of time in Cable diverted my attention to other things.

Now, Master of Business Management is the primary important thing in my schedule.

* * *

In the end, it was a long decision-making process. I thought I finally decided, "YES!" but by 1 in the morning (I spent some time with a friend til that time.), I thought, There are a lot of things I might not be considering and I might end up failing with a bad fall, so I thought before going to sleep, "No."

When I woke up, I thought, A lot of people think I can do it. I don't know if they really believe me, but I know myself that I could do this. God has allowed me to graduate UP Manila, finish ROTC in Advance Course with Duty Medal. This is not impossible.

In my journal, I wrote, I am driven by and drawn to challenges. I don't want to go the easy way and way of the mediocre. At the same time, I remember an Overdrive (a book about crisis management) idea, crisis is subjective. A crisis for a mediocre person would be easy for a person having a high standard of performance. I am drawing myself into a crisis situation!
At this, I have made my decision.

* * *

The next question: Which school? There are three schools which I am considering: PLM, PUP and UP.

In order to answer the question, I have these specific concerns or sub-questions:

• How much is the tuition fee?
• What are the requirements? Are there interviews? What are the pre-requisite subjects that I might need to take for business-oriented master programs.
• How many units?

Only one thing could stop me from going to Master's program: Failure in the entrance exam. No, not motivation would fail me.

Bye, society.

A Plan for Revolution

More than 3 years ago, I was with my brod Jerome coming home from a class gimmick. We were in Bulacan, and it was night. I was looking on the road not knowing what would happen.

Suddenly, an old man (seemed to be drunk, but definitely old) was hit on his bike's bars and he dropped - in God's grace, he did not get hit again - in the middle of the road. It seems that the truck hit him and did not bother to stop.

I did not see it. But Jerome, who was driving, did.

Jerome pursued the truck, and signalled for the driver to stop. Without incident, the driver halted the vehicle, and another person, we learned, was following the truck. Jerome explained to the driver that they hit a person and that they did not stop. I sensed the moment Jerome stepped out of the car that he was ready to go to a fight if the driver and his co-worker denied the incident. I was just behind him, ready to back him up but not to start any fight.

The other person who was following "us" turned out to be the city's previous mayor. I don't remember his name, but he introduced himself as such. We decided it would be helpful if the two guys would turn themselves in the police precinct to file a report of the incident.

When we continued to go home (after going back to the place to try to find the old biker, unsuccessfully), I told Jerome that I did not expect that from him, nor did I think that I would rather do that. It was admirable. Jerome said it was nothing. Anyone that witnessed that could have done that, he said. I don't think I would, though.

* * *

When I was on my way to work, heard of two adult men talking about EDSA "revolution." I don't know actually what they were talking, but I just thought that they could have been comparing EDSA 1 and 2. I didn't have confidence in either. The change was personal and not for the nation. The nation's pinning of hope on the people that assumed position were futile. Now, somebody wants to change the change that happened.

To those who think of revolution as the sort of the things soldiers do now is stupid - it's never going to be effective - effective meaning that there would be genuine change. A revolution is not just done to express unsatisfaction, rather it is to change the system and behavior of the nation. No EDSA ever did that.

A better format or plan for revolution could be gotten out of our own history - the first revolution of the Filipino people - led by Andres Bonifacio. Not the EDSAs, but in in Tagalog.

Andres Bonifacio, perceived as an empathic man of the poor, conceived a perfect revolution, perhaps taking note of the failures and successes of the revolutions he has read about - like the French Revolution. He conceived of a constitution (of sorts), a government, a process of change, objectives, and national unity. While alternative history points out that he was not leading a national revolution but just a local revolution, it is a model of a revolution in itself. He did not think of Intramuros alone, but a lot of provinces then.

* * *

Use of the media should be appropriate. The current attitude of the media would not guarantee the unity of the nation - it would rather guarantee a divided country and politics-based government. Instead, they should be used into their true purpose: public announcement. In a nation torn by uncertainty, the leaders of a revolution should provide the exact words, and control the media so that they don't make any stupid implications or interpretations of behavior or report on trivial, unimportant events just to focus out of things which they feel are not in their interest (which is what is happening right now). Their role of being the Fourth Estate would be returned after the new government

* * *

Soldiers should not - note, NEVER - be involved. The repeated inclusion of the military in a revolution weakens any new government. The government should use the military, not depend on it. The military is nothing but an arm - an arm, which is important, but an arm still. It does not have the heart nor the mind for the whole of the country.

Further, the inclusion of the military in a political exercise will make the future military organization political, which is something no military should ever be. The military would not attack the people's revolution if it is a national uprising. Thus, this would really reflect the role of both sides - the people and the military. The people should lead, not rely on the government, in nationbuilding. The military would only reflect the nation's interest - after all government agencies have failed. This condition is easy if all people are united in launching a revolution. When this happens, real change would be expected, a long-term one.

A political military weakens the nation as a whole. The military becomes involved easily in a power vacuum. The political leadership uses the military for personal purposes. It is a continuously circling down of deterioration.

* * *

In case there is a fear of the government's commanding of attacking the people, this will not happen. We are already in a global community. The media, while stupid, would look on any military attack on the people as an attack on its own interest. An attack of the military is worse than martial rule - it is military dictatorship - an environment that cannot be tolerated by the "freedom of expression" loving media.

* * *

Andres Bonifacio modeled the correct development of a revolution. A lot of people pronounce their plan to a lot of stupid and loud-mouthed people. Bonifacio used the Triangle method. One person recruited only two other people, who each in turn recruited another two. Thus, no person knows other people until they had a mass formation, which is rather very close to the time of mass uprising.

* * *

Today's Philippines execute the revolution in two critical players: the military and the media. Unless the leaders of a revolution understand the role of these two in a national revolution, there are only two consequences of a revolution - change of personality with a deterioriating nation, or anarchy. While Andres Bonifacio did not have the benefit of hindsight then (how in...?), he did have the proper understanding of these things. Sure, the situation is different, with a more popular media and more centralized military. But their roles do not change in a nation undergoing a critical process such as a cultural and political revolution. The people's will has to be identified and solidified, supported by these institutions on the background but not being led by them.

Wedding

I was watching a Koreanovela this morning, and I watched the lead man, Ryu something. The guy's character is a poor guy working a lot to achieve his dream or give something back to his mother (I don't really know). He got into a blind date with a girl who comes from a rich background. He has work and does well. The girl knows few of the concerns of poor people, but she is not entirely evil. She just doesn't know, and her encounter with this guy opened a new world for her.

And also for the guy. He did not like the girl - or something like that. He is living on an unknown past - he loves someone that did not return his love and is engaged to someone in Japan (the setting is, of course, in Korea). In their few initial dates, she gives her gifts which are so opposite his usual traditional preferences - like a man magazine (I don't know the correct term.). When they were no longer seeing (so far), he saw the magazine and learns there is some use to that piece of paper.

Seeing his character ignore the presence and the emphasized impact on his life makes me angry at him. I mean, here is a person whom you have felt has definitely made an impact on you, but you ignore her communication. You know she likes you, but you neglect her just because you long for someone you never know will come back and you know is engaged to someone else. You see how her personality complements your own (One of her weird talks gave him an idea on how to approach a person in official business.), but you don't acknowledge her. You act like a prick. The girl is even very beautiful.

That's when I remembered how I acted. I acted like that. Of course, at first, I thought, I didn't want to compare myself with him because his character is richer (considering that he's supposed to be poor), and he has a job that he likes. And the girl is beautiful. When I got back to the point of the issue, I was hit straight in the head - I ignored someone that was coming to me. Why? I don't know - that's probably a difference, but it did not matter. The point is that you are ignoring something for something you do not know.

I remember my article about the Category 3 A$$hole. I tried to put myself in his situation - concentrating on my work and goals, with a responsibility to the family. Coming from a poor background, meets a girl with happy-go-lucky attitude. Is it so hard? Who's at fault?

* * *

Doing some cramming in the office for my graduate studies education, I see people looking at my papers with great interest. I mean, I understand that taking a master is a great feat, but anyone can try! Well, that's what I thought.

I remember the process of deciding if I were to start on June. I looked on the factors. Then, I read in my daily devotional for leaders (by John Maxwell), and the passage for today is about commitment. You would like to make sure of resources, but everything follows if you commitment.

Anyways, I am sort of confused with the way things are happening. The people that look up to me due to taking master degree are the people that I look up to for mastery in doing their job. Well, I guess it just says that I have my interest in learning, while they already have their skills in doing their job. Nonetheless, I still admire them.

It helps my self-appreciation considering that I am in a stage when I doubt if I would want to have my own family or live a single life. I read lots of books about leading a family in a Christian environment, only to decide that I want to be single. So far, all directions point towards that direction.

What will be the purpose for all the achievements? I learned a lot of things. God gave me a lot of gifts - life, character, attitude, friends - what is the sum purpose?

I am confused... of my future, not my sexuality. Heheheh.

Conflicts and Plans

It's more than a week since that Fort Bonifacio-Marine stand-off. Well, I've been off the blog for a long time. I don't like hearing the "noise" called "news."

I learned that Cory was going to Fort Bonifacio at that same time to "pray." What in...?! Why do you need to go to Fort Bonifacio to pray!? You proclaim that you are for the people, when you proclaim your insult to the people!

* * *

Compare how many deaths in the coups that happened in GMA's and Cory's presidencies.

* * *

I used to think that there is a need for a peaceful transition - to be proud this so-called People Power (even though I don't believe in that process before). Now, however, there is indeed a need for a full and complete (I don't know of the bloody) revolution. Only a revolution would make the the change complete and real - not just a change of personalities.

Mao Tse Tung (I didn't think I would like to use his example of revolution, but I am compelled to) designed the perfect revolution. It's just that his personal attitude affected severely the nation's culture. In the country, Marcos' New Democracy never came to reality, but I think it was the Maoist Revolution without the corruption of personal attitude problems.

* * *

Thinking of my 2008 plans, and programming my budget for the next two years, makes me a bit hesitant of the graduate school. I plan to take a Master of Management, and my original plan (conceived in Summer 2004), conceived of concluding my master's in 2008. It's March 2006. Just two years.

In order to accomplish that objective, I have to stay in the company (I think), save and avoid gimmicks. I have to save every pay the amount:

1,000 PhP for thesis

1,100 PhP for the semestral tuition

1,000 PhP for personal school maintenance (something unexpected)

500 PhP for maintenance

That is for the salary of ... well. Let's leave it at that.

I plan to enrol in the 3 core subjects for the first semester (If I were able to take this last year, I planned to have only 2 core subjects to test if I could carry more.). That would continue until the thesis semester, when I plan to have less load - like the thesis only.

What's going to happen in my life?

Wow, good-bye love life! Heheheheh!