Kanlungan

I was on my way to work, when the jeepney saw the song, Kanlungan, by Noel Cabangon of Buklod. I remember when I first heard the song, and I thought it was romantic (I thought it was written by a left-oriented group), considering the other songs in the album were about emancipation and environmentalism.

When I heard it this time, I thought of the song in a different way. And it was in the context of when I first heard it.

I heard it first inside the barracks, when I was a tactical officer (graduate military assistant).

pana-panahon ang pagkakataon
maibabalik ba ang kahapon?

Everything changes.

When I first heard of the song, it was the demise of the ROTC.

Now, the ROTC virtually does not exist. In UP Manila, at least.

natatandaan mo pa ba,
nang tayong dalwa ang unang nagkita?
panahon ng kamusmusan
sa piling ng mga bulaklak at halaman
doon tayong nagsimulang
mangarap at tumula

When I first entered the Corps, I was afraid, but I had dreams. Eventually, the dreams were realized, but my time in the Corps has past. Worse, the organization is hated, and the community it has served does not even remember its existence.

The Corps of Cadets. The Reserve Officers Training Corps.

This just guided me to a new page that I should include in the ROTC website. An organization of the ROTC in relation to UP Manila and the NCR RCDG.

That's all for now. There's work to be done. Not just complaining about something in the past, but doing something for the present and the future.

Nothing's gonna stop us

My favorite song:

My best friend in high school gave me a copy of this song. I no longer have that sheet, but I never forgot this song. Edward, thanks. I'm not exactly expressive romantically, but I like this song nonetheless. For the beat, for the lyrics, for everything.

Looking in your eyes
I see a paradise
This world that I've found
Is too good to be true
Standing here beside you
Want so much to give you
This love in my heart
That I'm feeling for you

Let them say we're crazy
I don't care about that
Put your hand in my hand, baby
Don't ever look back
Let the world around us
Just fall apart
Baby, we can make it
If we're heart to heart

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us, no
Nothing's gonna stop us now

I'm so glad I found you,
I'm not going to lose you
Whatever it takes
I will stay here with you
Take you to the good times
See you through the bad times
Whatever it takes
That's what I'm gonna do

Let them say we're crazy
What do they know
Put your arms around me, baby
Don't ever let go
Let the world around us
Just fall apart
Baby, we can make it
If we're heart to heart

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us
Nothing's gonna stop us

All that I need is you
You're all I ever need
All that I want to do
Is hold you forever
And ever and ever

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Nothing's gonna stop us now
And if this world runs out of lovers
We'll still have each other
Nothing's gonna stop us
Nothing's gonna stop us now

And we can build this dream together
Standing strong forever
Build this dream together now

Nothing's gonna stop us now
Nothing's gonna stop us now
Nothing's gonna stop us now
No-no, no-no, no-no, no-no
Nothing's gonna stop us...

Copyright © Albert Hammond Music, Warner Bros. and Real Songs. All right reserved. Reprinted with Albert Hammond's personal permission. For personal use only.

Friendster Bulletin.

This was a Friendster bulletin post. I just find the questions nice. So here they are.

WHAT IF?

Your crush suddenly asks you out?-- E di accept invitation

You walk into an elevator and see a couple making out?-- Pass.

Your parents had another baby?-- Mahirap ito. Pero sana siguro babae. Mahirap alagaan pero I kinda miss something.

You're trapped in a building about to explode?-- Manalangin. Tapos try to do something.

You were granted one wish?-- Powers of Wolverine, Son Gokou, Archangel, Cyclops, Havoc and Inter-Galactic Defense Federation rank of Major General (HEHEHEH!).

Aliens invaded earth?-- Dapat matupad muna iyong wish ko. Tapos, ira-rally ko ang Earth Defense Command ko.

A guy(girl if you're a guy) suddenly kissed you?-- Kung maganda ba iyong girl, bakit hindi?

You won a date with your celeb crush?-- Masaya. Pero sino iyon? A, si Tamaki Nami.

You were given a blue car?-- Tama. Basta gumagana at bago, e di mag-aaral akong mag-drive, crash course (excuse the pun!).

Your boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you??-- Duhh...

You win a million dollars?-- Bibilhin ko ang SSWC, gagawin kong Vanguard Manila Building! Wohooo!

Someone gives you flowers?-- Nangyari na ito sa akin. Hulaan ninyo kung sino. I'm a guy.

You receive a love letter in your locker?-- Babasahin kung para ba sa akin. Pagkatapos kong basahin, malamang hindi sa akin iyon.

You fail your exam?-- usual. bawi sa ibang exam o papers.

You get first in class?-- Get first in class? Que dice?

Your computer crashes?-- Oo nga naman. Ipa-ayos.

You got fired?-- Hanap ng trabaho. Identify bakit natanggal sa previous job.

Your best friend betrays you?-- Usual. You have no right to expect anything, not even from the persons who tells you they love you.

You had to choose between your boyfriend/girlfriend and your best friend?-- That's why I fall in love with someone I already love.

You miss your ex?-- None yet.

you want to call him/her?-- NA.

virgin?-- Virgin ang alin?

what can u say to those who r reading this ryt nw?-- What can you say?

New Blog

It is difficult maintaining a blog... much difficult, maintaining three weblogs, three websites, and three other web-related applications.

I maintain three Blogger blogs (including this), three ROTC-related websites, plus two weblog-related accounts that support the previously mentioned applications, and one Bloglines account that collect all feeds from my favorite weblogs and RSS feeds.

I have to stop this personal weblog so that I could create a NEW weblog... My weblog for my creative work, the story of the 6CMAF (6th Crisis Management Action Force), of the Crisis Intervention Agency.

This is gonna be exciting.

Finally, a channel for expressing my creative thoughts... the only ones that are creative in me.

Watch out in my profile so that you could find them.

Crises

A person has few turning points in his or her life. They could be in the point of deciding on whether to be a bum or be a productive person. To be mature or to be childlike. To be adventurous or to be traditional.

To be alone or to be open for relationship.

* * *

I heard of the discussion for the raise for wage of workers. As much as I am a worker, I am not exactly pro on that topic.

I am concerned with what would happen in the long run, after the wage of the workers were raised.

Two basic implications: strain to the employers, and cyclical pull to raise the price of goods made by the companies who give wage to the workers as one of the costs of production.

Shall we raise the price of oil again?

* * *

I am enjoying writing about the life of a cadet officer in Manila. I don't know, if this progresses, maybe I could finally write the book I wanted to write about for a long time.

Being a cadet officer is not so easy, and being one in UP Manila is even tougher. People both inside the ROTC and outside do not understand the unique situation of the Cadet Corps of Manila. Maybe, with this, they would understand.

* * *

I saw a Presidential Security Group member in the LRT when I was on my way to work. I remembered a feature done on them, and I have come to admire them a lot. They are really a tough special operations force, and if I were given the chance, I would like them to train a UP Manila special operations unit with their VIP security and extraction specialized operations.

Of course, my most favorite unit in the AFP is the Scout Rangers. They are unique and the best.

* * *

This is interesting. The new national intelligence chief used to be an ambassador to the Philippines. Interesting, indeed. I wonder how it would affect relations between US and RP - in reality (aside from the words of the media).

That is aside from the fact that, as I understand, the national intelligence chief is distinct from the Director of Central Intelligence (DCI), which used to be the overall chief of ALL intelligence activities of the United States.

* * *

Interesting times.

Experiencing things all over again

It is fun remembering how things transpired in my ROTC life. I like running a series on the life of a cadet officer in UP ROTC. It's fun, and it would be filled with adventure, drama, comedy... everything. Even action and some horror (not for me, though).

Life is indeed better than fiction. And like my friend Loiselle says, life can be stranger than fiction.

Yeah. I never thought I would endure the hardships of UP ROTC training. But it is not the body that counts. It is the spirit.

And with that, I should be able to go through most of life's challenges.

Well, should.

Not all things are comparable with training you get in ROTC. It's like the old parable, "If your only tool is a hammer, every problem would look like a nail." But it cannot be. It is not right.

Enough with the nonsense. Sort of.

There has been no visible developments in the ROTC websites, but developments are indeed happening. It's just they are not yet published.

I miss my old friends. My friends from the Department of Budget and Management, Vanessa (my brod), Emily, Leny, Lisa and all of the gang. It's a part of me that I would like to live... in a way. I've always wanted to work in the government... to serve? Yes. But I would like to make some change. Somehow.

But not for now. For now, I have to secure my personal concerns so that I do not regret some things later in the future.

A lot of things I could not get. I don't know.

New Weblog

I just started a new blog.

It's a story of being a cadet officer in UP Manila.

Yes, it is a life story. Partly, of course. I won't tell the whole world MY story.

It would be a narrative nonetheless. From a first person point of view.

It would be exciting for me. To tell the world what being an ROTC officer is like, and particularly, being a cadet officer in UP Manila is really like. Tell the people who do not appreciate what a cadet officer goes through everyday to serve the institutions that ignore, neglect, and sometimes destroy them.

It's gonna be awesome.

Try to find it.

If you know how to find, you could find it.

Clue: It's mine.

Esoteric

My colleague saw me starting a blog post, and he described it as esoteric. I asked him, "ano ibig sabihin ng esoteric?"

Of course, before I really ask, I use my browser, click on Favorites, use the Info and Comm sub-directory, then the Roget's Thesaurus link.

Esoteric has this meaning:

Beyond the understanding of an average mind

Really.

He said, "tama naman, ah."

Well.

Just for people to see?

Or maybe, to reveal what is really inside.

The mind is very difficult to understand. Everybody generally knows that. The problem, however, is that not everyone tries to understand. A lot of times, even people close to a person does not give any effort to understand.

But not everyone.

Who understands a person?

Not even one's self could fully understand the meaning or purpose or how or why a person thinks one way or another. So what is the point of trying to understand?

Psychologists find the object that is deep under the facade of another being. An unseen existence is living beneath the commonly seen, or what is extravagantly expressed. But what defines a person's character is what is within.

Esoteric?

The messages, generally, are products of the person's character. Who am I?

An esoteric?

Nothing. I am an unseen existence.

Constant Contact

Wala lang. Sasabihin ko lang na sa pagkakabit ko ng contact lenses, up and down ang speed ko. From 1 hour to 20 minutes. Ewan ko ba.

I wrote another article (I think they are rather two articles) for the COC website. It started actually just as an itemization or typology of the activities of the Corps, but it developed into a proposition of how the ROTC program develops the nationalism of the trainees better than NSTP.

Anyway, I have to include an NSTP article in the ROTC Portal so that I could ask for "sponsorship" in UP Manila units to tell that link. I would like freshman students to see the website, and my group and I cannot do this unilaterally.

Tomorrow is paintball. I am not yet sure how many would come, but I have prayed for that activity. That's the best thing that I could do. There are more activities. More development for the websites. The COS site is not developing. Need better coordination on this.

Lovelife. Wow. That's an end last Friday the 13th. My prayer got an answer. Wait for 2008. or '09.

O well.

I found a technique for improving my productivity at work. I have to go there now.

Dewa mata.

P.S. I like Ryan in Memories of Bali. I see Casper in him. I like the codename Ryan Casper. Cute, don't you think?

Today's night

My colleague described today as a work day without a supervisor.

My mind is considering on giving up one of two thrusts: developing the website and studying Japanese language. I have a definite objective and reason for developing the website, so I am considering of giving up Japanese. But I really want to learn the language.

Anyway, unlike my previous post, this would be nothingness. Just an expression of things I want to ... what? I don't know really.

Just a short time during my lunch to update this post in the Internet.

I hope the activity on Sunday is successful.

I hope I would get a positive answer on my prayer - I need a sign. I don't like this. I do not want to be superstitious.

In the end, it doesn't even matter.

Best Friend

Many people have even more people around them, of varying relationship to them. They may be superiors, subordinates, or equals; or relatives, acquaintances; or maybe , just simply friends. However, there are also people considered, or termed, ‘best friends’.

But what is a best friend? Many mushy definitions are offered by the dozens of teen magazines that are present at the local newsstand, and I believe that you have your own concept or perception of a ‘best friend,’ but it seems the essence of the term ‘best friend’ is really something not for the discussion of intellectuals, but for feelings. Still, an attempt would be made to make it as logical and rational as possible, without removing the truths, or humanistic side, of this rather very vague concept.

A best friend is any person, maybe blood-relative or not, that a person considers to be of more or special importance than usual, and whom a person considers of closer or more personal affection than others. In this definition, the key phrase is that the “person considers,” meaning a best friend is relative to the person making a consideration, not a set criteria by society or any standard-making body. There are no criteria for a best friend. For example, Person A can be considered a best friend to Person B, even though Person C sees Person A as a traitor, back-stabber, and liar rolled into one. However, for an ideal conception of a best friend, I have some personal experiences that had helped me to identify a person as ‘best friend.’

From the previous definition, ‘affection’ is often connected with a fiancé or fiancée. In some ways, and in most instances, people consider their fiancé or fiancée their best friend. However, a best friend can be considered having a relationship bordering between a relative and a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Most people associate ‘friend’ with presence; that is, if you are not present in a time or situation when your present is crucial, it is a big bite off your credibility to be considered a ‘friend,’ much less a best friend.

There is also the association of ‘help,’ or ‘assistance.’ It is somehow connected to presence, since if a person is present in a needing situation, that person expected present is expected to help. However, there are also times that only the presence is required, and in some times, more preferred.

Openness, communication and trust are big requirements for the concept of best friend. For the ideal types, trust is not even enough, but rather faith. If you cannot entrust your secrets to a friend, that friend is not really your best friend. Trust, or faith, is telling your friend that you trust him with information and that he can and will handle the truth as well. However, on the other side of the relationship, if a person considers a friend to be a best friend, and if he does not tell a person about a secret, faith would tell that faithful person that he trusts him that it is for goodness’ (or his) sake that information is being withheld.

Jeremy Taylor, an English bishop, wrote, “By friendship you mean the greatest love, the greatest usefulness, the most open communication, the noblest sufferings, the severest truth, the heartiest counsel, and the greatest union of minds of which brave men and women are capable.” The quotation tells a very important necessity of friendship, the most universal of all truths: Love. However, ‘love’ would only be discussed in connection with the concept of friendship.

Love comprises an infinity of characters and even more behaviors. Henry Ward Beecher, an American clergy, wrote, “It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friends his faults – So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship.” Openness and faith are key components of love equated with friendship.

Love and friendship has an ultimate test: sacrifice. Henry Home, a Scottish judge, writes, “The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.” And in the Bible, in John 15:13, it is written, “Greater love has no-one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (NIV).

Best friends become ‘best’ most of the times during times of great challenge or pressure. Caleb Colton, an English clergy, wrote, “The firmest friendships have been formed in mutual adversity; as iron is most strongly united by the fiercest flame.” For this reason, military or fraternity organizations which emphasize on teamwork put training classes on the fiercest tests, not just to weed out immaterial persons, but also to strengthen the faith of each person to all and every other member, or to strengthen their emotional bond.

In a more spiritual perspective, a best friend is not made by people, but by Divine Intervention. Robert South, an English divine, wrote, “A true friend is the gift of God, and he only who made hearts can unite them.”

What characters can we compare a best friend to? Edward Hyde, 1st Eart of Clarendon, wrote, “Friendship hath the skill and observation of the best physician, the diligence and vigilance of the best nurse, and the tenderness and patience of the best mother.”

Best friends want only the best for his or her friend, or would be willing to go in place of that person if consequences are not pleasurable. Francis Bacon, an English scientist and philosopher, wrote, “Those friends are weak and worthless that will not use the privilege of friendship in admonishing their friends with freedom and confidence, as well as their errors as of their dangers.”

A best friend hopes for the betterment and ultimate well-being of a person, rather supposedly, even to the sacrifice of one’s self. He wants “to be that person who will be in the place where you are needed to be, but you can’t.” He will be a person who will be happy “whenever you are happy.” He hopes to be the person that is “strong, who can stand up to your frustrations and disappointments.” A best friend, knowing the implications, still has the heart, to tell a person, “I am feeling for you.” Ultimately, a best friend tries and hopes to perform, rather constantly, that ultimate form of love, which God has done: Sacrifice.

After all these ideas, a person can still not be in any way be behaving in ways considerably alike to the above-mentioned characteristics, and yet, considered by a person to be a best friend.

For in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

Notes:
1) All quotations without references are from sources who opted not to be identified.
2) This has been previously submitted in a Communication II paper (as a concept paper) with a 1.0 grade.

Naapakan ang paa ko.

This is an old story, I just want to make sure I remember it in the future. Somehow.

I was on my way to work, I was riding a bus. Everything was just normal and fine. I even watched my favorite Koreanovela before going to work, which sort of made my day before getting to work.

So, there I was, sitting. The bus stopped. Fine. But then, the person with me in the seat suddenly stood up and walked to get off the bus. That's fine. I don't care. But he stepped on MY FOOT! (Ouch!)

Out of that fine day (or night, since I work graveyard shift), my mode accelerated from fine ding-a-ling mode to GRRRR!-WAR mode.

I had to be patient, I thought. 1... 2.... 3.... 4... 10. I should be patient. It is to the betterment of a person to overlook an offense (or something like that), I thought.

After a moment of grumbling (quietly), a thought hit me. Why can't I think this way when a person close to me hurt me?

Yes. In that moment of self-defensive mode, I suddenly thought of an idea for other people.

I mean, if I could easily (sort of) forgive or let go of hurts by other people whom I DON'T LOVE or DON'T CARE ABOUT, why do I have a hard time forgiving people that I love?

I would still have to find an answer... if the question is correct.

A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11, NIV.

What is a weblog for?

I don't know. Really.

I just thought I might make this as a diary. My good friend Sheryl advised me to do this... sort of. I don't want my thoughts in the open, but then, who would read my blog?

So, what is this about?

Thoughts of a person not noticed... and hopefully, will never be.

Why write?

To express.

To exhale.

To relieve.

To communicate my thoughts to myself so that I could review things which I don't want doing in the future.

These are my committments.

Later.